Mother's Day - A Story of Another Kind of Mother and Loss

This post is inspired by another blog post that I ran across on Facebook... messymiddle.com - an open letter to pastors a non mom speaks about mothers day

I want to take a moment to thank her for saying what other's may be afraid to say. While I'm sure the pastor didn't intentionally try to make anyone feel bad, it really does make you stop and think.

It reminded me of past mother's day's, and the bitterness that sometimes swept across me thinking that I thought I would have children by now, but life doesn't always work out as planned. Everyone that really knows me has told me what a good mom I would be, someday. It also reminded me of a Facebook post last year where a friend was wishing all the mother's out there a happy mother's day. I was being half smart-ass and half serious when I commented do fur babies count? I didn't think I would get a response, but I really didn't think I would get a straight out "No". It stung, not only because I think they do count, because to me they are my babies, but it was another harsh reminder that the thing I wanted most in my life I still hadn't gotten, and at the time I didn't see it happening anytime soon.

Taken at Munsinger Gardens, St. Cloud, MN Summer 2011

This mother's day hurt's even more. I wasn't planning on getting into this so early in my blog, but it has been a big part of my life in the past seven months, so why not get it out into the open. I haven't told a lot of people, but I don't really feel like it should feel like a big bad dark secret either. Those reading this that know me that haven't been told may have already figured it out, to other's this may come as a surprise.

DISCLAIMER: Parts of this post may be slightly graphic or disturbing for the squeamish, and you may need tissues.